The Portal

So, yesterday, I passed through that "Old Age Portal," called 70. It was stressful, intimating and wonderful, all at the same time. But, this morning, I really cannot remember too much about it, so glass half full, right? Lately, people aren't saying, "You are NOT old." Instead, I hear more of  "You look good for your age." What does that even mean?

True, in the last decade, I have experienced a slight decline in my physical being which moves a little slower - perhaps because it has more to carry these days. I have also noticed that  my mental clarity seems to float in and out at will. But, that's another post for another day. Today I am pondering on this large opening over my head. It loomed in the distance for a while and frankly I was a bit surprised to find it right on top of me.

Since the name of my blog is Seasons and Memories, I think it is appropriate before I pass through, to take a moment and look back over the seasons and recall some of the memories of my first seven decades on this earth. Standing here in the portal door, I can turn and look back and see the terrain of my life. Mountains and valleys are interspersed with deserts and fields of golden grain. There are highways where life zooms by in a blur, and soft green meadows where the days laze by softly. Torrential rains and gentle showers combine with hurricane winds and delicate breezes. The turns and curves are obvious, also the dead ends. I notice barriers that are broken and road blocks torn down by my speeding car, but also winding roads where slight slopes were taken with grace.

Life has taught me lessons and shown me things I never dreamed possible. Some I received with an open heart, some I wished had been torched and thrown out before I ever saw them. But, that is the thing with life, we rarely get to choose what we experience. There have been times of almost poverty and times of over abundance of money. Personally, I prefer the latter, but the truth is, I was just as well provided for in both extremes.

There were times of heaviness and loneliness that I thought would be my undoing. Times when I wanted to close the garage door, crank the car and forget it all. But, those times did not last. Before I plummeted into a place of complete hopelessness, God always pulled me out, wrapped his big arms around me, set my feet and mind straight and started me on the right path again.

And, of course, there were times of such happiness that I thought my heart would burst right out of my chest. There were parents who loved and protected me, marriages - yep, plural - children, grandchildren, cousins by the dozens and friends too many to count.  I have been loved. Some folks would even say I have been spoiled, but that doesn't bother me. I kinda like being spoiled.

There has been pain, both emotional and physical. There has been healing and restoration. There has been salvation, rescuing and relationship. You know, as I write this and think back, I do not want to change one thing that happened. Even the sadness, the want and the rejection had a place in creating the person I am today. "Thank you, God, for everything you have done, everything you have been to me and everything you have in store for the next decade."

Several years back our cousin, Troy Miller, was pastor of the Church of God in Wildwood, FL. We visited whenever we were in town because God normally showed up and also because he was an awesome preacher. There was a lady who sang a song that has stuck with me through the years. No, I can't remember the name of the song. I am seventy, remember? But the lines went something like,

Hasn't He always come through for you?  You may not know how, you may not know when, but He'll do it again.

I have no idea where she is today, and I am also certain she had no clue how many times that song helped my heart. (I hope I told her) Being reminded of His track record and His commitment to keep on doing the same thing, warmed my heart and set my feet to dancing.

Today I have things that are hurting my heart. Personal burdens that threaten to take me under, but I know that I know, He has always come through for me and He will do it again. I also have great joy and happiness in some areas. I am still loved - imagine that??? I am covered, protected and provided for - even in the midst of the storms that hover. And so, I walk in a place of contentment, peaceful with where I am in life and yet expectant. Seventy is going to be an awesome year of revelation and understanding, a time of learning and growing in Him. Why? Because He'll do it again!

Thank you all for loving me - I love you back. And who knows, perhaps we will get to dance together in the wildflowers this year?