Are You My Daddy?

Susanna fidgeted as she sat on the long wooden bench outside the train depot. It had been a long day; one she would never forget. The events of the past few hours were engrained on her heart and mind with deep crevices running all through her person. Adopted. After waiting so long for a real parent, someone had come and asked to take her. The strangest part was that she never even saw them.

For as long as she could remember she had lived with others who were without parents also. The lifestyle was a hard one with many bosses and much work to do. Susanna had tried to be obedient but many times she was harshly disciplined for even the smallest mistake. Oh, some of the people there were nice and tried to help but they were not her real parents, she could never forget that. It ate at her deep inside. In the night she would lie awake and ponder her situation, wondering who her real daddy was and why she had to live with all these other lost children. It was strange; she had no memory of her life before this place. She had never met her daddy but deep inside she knew he was not dead like they told her. She just knew it!

And then early one morning, right about the time the first bird of the day began his song outside her window, right before she had to start her day, right about that time, someone she had never seen before came to tell her that things were changing. Susanna had looked around to see if any of the other girls were awake but she was the only one. The messenger instructed her to get up and dress and follow him. Susanna’s real father was calling for her.

And now, here she was, sitting on this long wooden bench after an exciting train ride through the early morning hours. Susanna had no idea who had paid her ticket and bought her food, but all was taken care of and she had travelled very comfortably. Time ticked away and she tried ever so hard to be patient but the suspense was unnerving. What would her new life be like? Would there be a lot of work to be done like she was accustomed to? Or would she be spoiled like the little girls she had seen with their mommies in the stores? Girls who pouted and fussed over the smallest details.

Susanna did not think she would like being spoiled, at least not for long. But a little while might be fun. Just to see what it felt like. Mostly though she just wanted to meet her daddy. She wanted to sit in his lap and listen to him tell her stories. Work did not bother her as long as she could finally meet her real daddy.

The day wore on and Susanna began to feel tired and a tad hungry. She watched the other passengers being met and taken away one by one and still no one came for her. Was this some sort of cruel joke? Surely not! She had been so hopeful that her time in the orphanage was finally over. Susanna fidgeted and watched the birds flitting through the branches overhead. The tree was extra beautiful to her today. Most likely it had stood over the depot for many years, shading those who waited here. Susanna thought about climbing that tree, wondering how the view would be from up high.  After a while she grew tired of that imagination and looked around for something else to occupy her anxious mind.

She found that if she would close her eyes very tightly and listen she could almost tell whether it was a man or a woman walking behind her. That distraction did not last long though since there were few people about. The bench was carved here and there with initials, but Susanna had nothing to carve with.

The sun rose higher in the sky and began peeking through the branches, warming her back and bringing a peaceful comfort deep inside. Maybe she would close her eyes for just a minute. Susanna was accustomed to rising early and working, cleaning, obeying the bosses in whatever they instructed her to do. She did not have free time to just sit during the day. Always there was work to be done.

Susanna let her mind wander back to the messenger who had brought her out of the orphanage. He was kind and gentle and she had immediately trusted him, even though he was a large man and very strong. She had felt his muscles when he picked her up and sat her on the train steps. After that he had stood close by all during the train ride, protecting her – from what she was not sure, but she was surely glad he was there. And then, when she arrived here she could not find him although she somehow sensed he was close by.

Susanna was getting tired of waiting, but she wasn’t afraid. The adventure had captivated her heart and she was ready for whomever or whatever came next. Across the train track she spied an open field with wildflowers growing everywhere. Oranges, reds, even browns that were more beautiful than any she had seen. Why had she not noticed them earlier? Susanna wanted to run through and pick a big bouquet for her new daddy, but the messenger had told her to wait here, so wait she would. Deep inside she knew something wonderful was coming; something more awesome than she had ever experienced. And so she was determined to wait. Squirming, shifting, and straining to see down the road that ran alongside the track, her body fairly shook with anticipation but she kept herself glued to the bench. Waiting…

Actually, waiting was more difficult than working back at the orphanage. By now the other girls would be cleaning the floors and dusting the furniture. There would be the sound of others outside sawing and nailing;  building, there was always building. Susanna had often wondered why so many came to live at the orphanage when the lifestyle there was so difficult. Occasionally a few would leave but mostly they just came and stayed and worked. And worked. Truthfully though, she would not mind a little work right now. It would be easier than just sitting here.

Sighing, Susanna lay back against the warm bench and let the midday breeze wash over her. Slowly she drifted into a peaceful sleep. Visions of her new home and her new daddy filled her dreams. The day went on around her with trains coming and going, passengers arriving and leaving with their loved ones, until gradually all activity came to a stop. Suddenly Susanna sat straight up. How long had she slept? The depot was deserted and quiet.

Susanna’s heart sank. Had she missed her meeting with her daddy? Had he come and found her asleep and merely walked away without her? Her throat closed up and her chest ached so badly she could barely breathe. Tears filled her eyes as she stood and slowly looked around.

And then she saw him. He was standing just a little ways off, watching her intently. But, this was a young man, not old enough to be her daddy. For a moment they stared at each other and she found his eyes to be the most beautiful she had ever seen. They were strangely familiar. Perhaps he was related to the messenger who had brought her out of the orphanage. Either way, his eyes were mesmerizing. Looking into them, Susanna realized he knew everything there was to know about her. Her heart relaxed in his gaze and snuggled down into the warmth she found there. After a few moments, the young man stepped toward her.

Susanna dropped her head. “I thought I had missed you,” she whispered.

His reply came in a whisper also, “Dear Susanna. I have been watching you rest; waiting for you to wake up. Do you think I have waited all these years for you, just to leave you while you were napping? Your Father understands you sometimes need rest.”

Then, gently, ever so gently, he took her hand. Not knowing what was happening, but trusting him completely, she placed her hand in his. “Are you my new daddy?” she asked. And then he smiled.  His smile had the same effect on her as his gaze had earlier. She could trust this man.

“No,” he replied, “but I will take you to meet him.” Nodding, she fell into step alongside him.

“Who are you then?” she asked.

“I am your brother. And I will always be with you. From this point forward I will never leave your side.”

Susanna was engulfed in the security of his voice and knew deep in her heart that he was telling her the absolute truth. Oh, if only her new daddy was going to be this wonderful. As if he could read her mind, the young man spoke again.

“You do not need to worry, Susanna, our Father is exactly like me. Actually, most people say if you’ve seen me, you’ve seen him.”

Suzanna stretched and slowly opened her eyes to her surroundings. How strange it was to dream about her time years ago when her new Father first called her out of the orphanage. It had been a long and exciting adventure since then, and yet, in her dream it seemed like she was walking through it all over again. Perhaps it was because she was in such a place of change right now. After all this time, she should know to trust her daddy and believe that he was taking care of things, but this latest change in her life had brought many questions tumbling back into her heart. Oh, not questions about his care, but questions about her ability to hear and understand his directions.

 “I suppose,” she mumbled to herself,” that somewhere deep inside, I am still that little girl waiting not so patiently on the wooden bench outside the train depot.” 

Suzanna's travels continue...