Maybe its because Christmas is so close or maybe its because I'm a grandma and have too much time to think. Either way, I'm reminded today of my days as a new mom. If you have children, I'm sure you can relate to those moments when life for your child was just beginning and your life was forever changed.
Remember when they were so tiny and you would swaddle them tight in their blankets and lay them on your chest? It was all you and them; no one else could feel what you were feeling. Your baby was warm and safe, content just to be near you. Peace would sweep over you as you lay quietly with your baby on your chest. I can still remember the feeling.
The intimacy that began then was deep and the bond so profound words cannot express it. Even if there was a room full of people all excited about the new baby, I was so peaceful - so content - nothing could shatter my peace. It was the kind that came from deep inside my soul where words do not exist. Those were my favorite times. The connection between mom and baby in those early moments stays with us for a lifetime.
Several years later my life had turned upside down. It was during that time, in the midst of my pain and frustration - my desperation - that the Christ child was birthed within my spirit. This was a different kind of new life; but a birth, a new life, all the same.
As I held the Christ child close to my chest the intimacy went beyond words, the bond between us was unbelievable yet very real. Even in a room full of people nothing could shatter my peace. I had the Christ child within and He was all mine.
The flip side was, as I held the Christ child the Father held me, I was the baby laying on His chest. Now I was all safe and warm and content just to be near Him.
The Christ child would grow within me and our relationship would change over the years but I will never forget those early months when He was so new within me, when my only desire was to hold Him, please Him, talk with Him; try to understand His needs and my role in Him.
Over the years, I have at times found myself drifting away from that intimacy; from searching His face just to see the smile there. Its easy to talk to Him all day without ever really listening to his heart, without realizing the awesome privilege of being in His presence. Forgive me Lord and draw me daily to that place of quiet in you. I want to see the twinkle in your eyes and hear the softness in your voice, to hold you close as the Father holds me. I never want to forget the amazement I felt that first time I looked into your face.
This Christmas I pray for all of us that same joy and peace that comes from holding the Christ child near. His presence brings the Merriest of Christmas no matter the circumstances.
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."
Luke 2: 11&12
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