Connecting Hearts

Maybe its because Christmas is so close or maybe its because I'm a grandma and have too much time to think. Either way, I'm reminded today of my days as a new mom. If you have children, I'm sure you can relate to those moments when life for your child was just beginning and your life was forever changed.

Remember when they were so tiny and you would swaddle them tight in their blankets and lay them on your chest? It was all you and them; no one else could feel what you were feeling. Your baby was warm and safe, content just to be near you.  Peace would sweep over you as you lay quietly with your baby on your chest.  I can still remember the feeling.

The intimacy that began then was  deep and the bond so profound words cannot express it. Even if there was a room full of people all excited about the new baby, I was so peaceful - so content - nothing could shatter my peace. It was the kind that came from deep inside my soul where words do not exist. Those were my favorite times. The connection between mom and baby in those early moments stays with us for a lifetime.

Several years later my life had turned upside down. It was during that time, in the midst of my pain and frustration - my desperation - that the Christ child was birthed within my spirit.  This was a different kind of new life; but a birth, a new life, all the same.

As I held the Christ child close to my chest the intimacy went beyond words, the bond between us was unbelievable yet very real. Even in a room full of people nothing could shatter my peace. I had the Christ child within and He was all mine.

The flip side was, as I held the Christ child the Father held me, I was the baby laying on His chest.  Now I was all safe and warm and content just to be near Him.

The Christ child would grow within me and our relationship would change over the years but I will never forget those early months when He was so new within me, when my only desire was to hold Him, please Him, talk with Him;  try to understand His needs and my role in Him.

Over the years, I have at times found myself drifting away from that intimacy; from searching His face just to see the smile there. Its easy to talk to Him all day without ever really listening to his heart, without realizing the awesome privilege of being in His presence. Forgive me Lord and draw me daily to that place of quiet in you. I want to see the twinkle in your eyes and hear the softness in your voice, to hold you close as the Father holds me. I never want to forget the amazement I felt that first time I looked into your face.

This Christmas I pray for all of us that same joy and peace that comes from holding the Christ child near. His presence brings the Merriest of Christmas no matter the circumstances.

 

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

Luke 2: 11&12

The Three of Me Agree

Ten days til Christmas! Every year I say the same thing - how did it get here so quickly? Then the rest of the year I wonder why it takes so long to get here. The confusion comes from the child inside. You know, the one who cannot wait for Christmas morning. On the other hand, the "adult me" would like to have a bit more time to prepare. Of course the "grandma me" just loves it anytime and doesn't really worry about whether things are perfect or not. It'll be alright is her mantra.

Somehow all three of these ladies come together into one during this season and I enjoy every aspect of the  holidays. Snuggling in front of the fire with my Sweetie, shopping frantically for the perfect gift, eating tons of chocolate,  relaxing at Barnes and Noble with a peppermint mocha latte, and preparing for Christmas dinner with all the family. Family - that's it, isn't it? When family is together it doesn't matter the season, the occasion, the food (well, the food is always important) but family being together makes every part of me smile.

This year we probably won't be able to have everyone here at the same time. Those days are fewer and further between as the family grows and new spouses join us. At least we get to enjoy each one at some point. Today I am mindful of the reason our family is still intact. His name is Jesus and without Him none of us would be who we are or where we are. It's all about Him and that's one thing all three of "me" agree on.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel ..which means "God with us."  Matt 1:22 & 23

Upside Down Christmas

The whistling of the wind outside, the turning of pages inside...that's about all you hear this morning as he and I sit in our PJ's in front of the fire, catching up on our reading. It was a wonderfully hectic weekend with football, grandkids, a lovely dinner with friends and a little snow thrown in just to make it feel like Christmas. Life is good and I am happy and blessed. Cliche, I know, but still true.

We had two of our grandsons overnight on Saturday and for hours on end we listened to every battery operated singing snowman, Santa, Scooby Doo, Grandma/Grandaddy toy in the house. I tried time out, spanking, finger pointing (which was met with great fits of giggles) .. all to no avail. Oh, not to the grandsons, but to the toys themselves which magically started singing even though no one touched them. Hummm...the magic of Christmas???

Then last evening we were invited to dine with a young lady who has been like a granddaughter to us for many years. We were thrilled to see her beautiful home all decorated for Christmas and a scrumptious dinner served on lovely china. Seasons do change and people grow and it is most rewarding when you see it happening to someone you have long loved.

So, this morning we are regrouping, like retired people do. I'm not at all embarrassed that I didn't dress before noon, that I had delicious sticky buns for breakfast or that my day's goal is to scan pictures for a movie. We have reached that stage when the merry-go-around of Christmas shopping etc has given way to enjoying the season and having time to reflect on how content and loved we are.

If you don't mind, I'm going to sit here in the quiet for just a bit longer and enjoy the comfort of sharing His presence with someone I love. Its true: to everything there is a season.

Love Never Fails

O, Love that will not let me go

I rest my weary soul in Thee

I give thee back the love I owe

That in thine oceans' depth its flow

Might richer, fuller be.

Perhaps you remember that old hymn; it always warms my heart with its truth. It seems the older I get and the longer I walk this Christian walk, the more I am aware of His unconditional, overwhelming, all-encompassing love. For God so loved He gave... Love never fails... God is love.

This walk of faith is of coursed based in love - not our love, but His. It comforts me beyond measure to understand that my love is not hanging out there on its own, but is under girded and enriched by His love. Well, thank goodness for that!!

I learned through tears and emotional sweat a few years back that my love is at best selfish and at its worst, non-existent. That was a  hard lesson for me since I had always assumed I was a loving person. And I am - but only because He loves through me. Only because He loves me so very much. So, today I guess that is all I want to say: God loves; God cares; God covers and surrounds us with His beautiful presence.

Thanksgiving is over and I did not take time to post this weekend so this is a late Thanksgiving post. I am thankful for many things including family, friends and health; but His love,  His love toward me, for that I am most thankful of all. Everything else rests on that.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday with family, friends and food, but most of all, I hope you know His love. It is a wonderful realization with which to begin the Christmas season.  After all, if He had not loved, He would not have given. And if He had not given, we would have nothing to celebrate.

For God so loved the world, He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  John 3:16

He's Still Here...

Good morning, Saturday! Its good to see you come around again. I'm not sure why that is, since we are now retired and every day is basically Saturday, but I guess old habits die hard. I remember during my working days that Saturday was the day I could have that second cup of coffee, reconnect with my children and put my house back in order. Those days were busy, interesting, difficult and  fun. All in all it was a great season.

But my life today is a great season also. Now I can enjoy that second and third cup of coffee every day. My house only needs to be put back in order after visits from our grandchildren; which lately have been all too few. But even grandchildren grow up. Someone told me that its ok that we have much less to do, since it takes much longer to do it.

Even in our season changes, our lives remain constant in the important areas. In the natural we grow weaker but His strength is made perfect in weakness. Our minds sometimes get a little forgetful, but we have the mind of Christ. In short, He has our back, even - or especially - as we grow older. It is so true that He will never leave us or forsake us. There's a song that says He didn't bring us this far to leave us. I like that.

The most important attribute of our lives though seems to strengthen and enlarge as old age comes sniffing around, looking for a place to creep in unawares. It is a thing called Love. God is Love. I, personally, have found that many of my black and white areas have become a little more grey these days. Not that I'm compromising, but  I can sense the Lord stretching me to see the big picture. He sees the totality of our lives, not just our current season.

I first learned this lesson with my own Mother. I had prayed for her for years, wanting to see her shouting and dancing across the altar, speaking in tongues and prophesying. However, when the time came for her to go home, I was amazed at the depth of her relationship with Jesus. No, that isn't quite right. What amazed me was HIS relationship with HER.

I heard her pray aloud for the first time in my life only a few days before she crossed over. But that last week of her life taught me more about the love and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father than everything I had heard since becoming a Christian.

My mom accepted Christ into her heart as a teenager and was sold out. However, when she married my dad, things changed. Growing up, my church attendance was normally on holidays and an occasional stretch of a few weeks during a revival, but Mom was a wonderful, loving mother who cared for her family through many hard years. She taught me the principles of God through her life and through her song.

Of course I would have loved growing up active in church and learning the scriptures. My life would probably have been easier had I come to the Lord earlier. I'm sorry for that. But my point is, she did not walk closely, but He never left.  He remained faithful to the end and in the end He came for her. There was no doubt about that.

A few days before she left us, she made the statement: "Jesus Christ has been a member of our family all these years and I didn't even know it."

He never leaves us.

All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

John 6:37

Thank You

Security, safety, comfort: all situations we enjoy here in America. Freedom, opportunities, a better quality of life, all come with being an American. Even with the current economic problems, we still enjoy our way of life without too much interference. Our day to day lives are as a rule safe from outside harm.

Today we honor the veterans who fought to make that possible for all of us. It is right for us to do so - it is important that we never take for granted their sacrifices and those of their families. No one likes war, no one wants to leave home and family to defend our country. And yet, men and women are constantly called, drawn or driven to do just that.

Today, I want to take time to say "thank you." Thank you for going. Thank you moms and dads, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandmas and granddaddys for letting go.

God bless you and keep you in His hand and may His mercies surround each of you today - your day.

Unexpected Gifts

Talking photography and all the ideas surrounding it  is one of my favorite pass times. This morning I had the privilege of sharing ideas, tips and projects with three fun, interesting ladies. Now, you need to understand, one of my visitors was a family member, but the other two I just met. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what to expect, but we had a great time. How could we not?

1. We were all females - conversation was NOT a problem.
2. We all had our cameras.
3. We all had Nikon cameras.
4. We all love taking pictures.
5. There was delicious food involved.

All in all it was a recipe for success. Once again, the Lord put people in my path that I wound never have expected and enriched my life with new friends. We all inspired each other and parted ready to move up a level in our photography.

One thing I love about photography friends is swapping photos with each other. I get to enjoy their family, their vacations and their creativity all through their photos. And movies! And scrapbooking, and on and on and on. It's a never ending  process - there is always another level. There are always new products on the market and new techniques to learn. It's good to stretch ourselves forward and at the same time reach out to help someone else to a new level.

Life is better when shared with others. Creativity sparks creativity and the success of another causes us to yearn for more from ourselves. Good relationships bring out the good in us and challenge us to keep learning and improving. Our God-given talents are precious gifts from our Father and I believe to use and improve them makes Him smile.

Yes, this morning was a sweet gift of time with some special ladies and hopefully the beginning of new friendships.

So we , being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Ro. 12:5

Days Of Our Lives

Like sands through the hour glass...so are the days of our lives. That phrase has been running through my mind for a few days now, so I thought why not just give in and wander down that path?

Back in 1965 when Days first premiered I was a very young mother with my first baby boy. Life was easy and good. My "days" were filled with taking care of a baby, learning how to make a house a home and generally moving into a grown-up world.

I remember the hype surrounding the show that would be starring MacDonald Carey, who was a rather important actor in those days. He was not one you would expect to see on a daytime soap opera. Thinking back to those days, the memory that grabs my emotions is one of my Grandmother. After years of raising six children, long hours, hard work and certainly no T.V., Mama S had finally arrived at a time of relaxation ... and discovered daytime soap operas.

Although she had been an integral part of my life, our relationship was not a "chatty" one. Everything changed with the entrance of Days. She and I talked once a week about the show, the characters, the plot; all as if they were real people with real problems. I loved seeing her as a person rather than just a Grandma as we chatted away about it all. Sadly, the new wore off, our interest in the show faded and we moved on with our individual lives; but Days gave me a little place with my Grandma that I have not forgotten.

Years later that same baby boy went away to college. One day he mentioned in a phone conversation that he had to go because he didn't want to miss Days.  His daily routine included watching Days in the locker room with a group of players. Man! We had come full circle. The same show he cut his teeth on while in diapers he was now enjoying during his initial break away from home. I'm thinking even Jesus snickered about that one. But that too passed and life moved on. I seriously doubt that he has watched a soap opera in many years, he probably doesn't even remember Days, but Mom does.

Isn't it interesting that something as insignificant as a daytime soap opera has connected three generations?  I had no idea Days was still on the air until I did some checking before writing this post. I had never stopped to think about the connection between my Grandma, my son, me and Days. 

So, OK - this is not a profound, make-you-think kind of post, but its a reminder to me of how life winds around and comes back to make me smile. It reminds me to take advantage of every opportunity, no matter how small, to share something with a loved one.

Its been years since I thought of my phone conversations with Mama S, but I cherish the memory. In my heart I carry something special that came about because of a shared interest. It's funny that I haven't watched Days since back in the 60's, but the interest isn't important, the sharing is. Our lives do slip away like sands through the hour glass, but the memories remain and they make me smile.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Vikings & Warriors

It's been a while since I posted anything. Life has been busy with travel; sports are in full swing with frequent visits to various ball fields; our house is still on the market and we've had several showings; all in all it's been a busy few weeks. I just completed a rather large video project so now I'm putting photos on the back burner for a bit so I can catch up with my writing ideas.

Do not be fooled, I have been writing--- in my head, in my journal, in my little purse notebook, on napkins, toilet tissue -- you get the picture. My mind does two things almost constantly  - write and take pics. I look at daily activities and see photos; I walk through my day and organize thoughts in my mind for an article. Perhaps its a disease; perhaps its a gift; or perhaps its just weird. Either way, it is how I am.

One of my ramblings lately has been about wounds and scars. Where the one is painful and needs healing, the other is an indication of a victory of some sort, a badge of courage so to speak. I like that. Fortunately, I have very few scars on my physical body but also fortunately I have many on my soul.

This is how I look at it. We all have battles in our lives, some are small skirmishes while others are intense all-out wars. There is no way of getting around that. The secret is the healing of the battle wounds. When the Lord invaded me back in 1979 and turned my life upside down, I had many wounds in my emotions, in my mind and in my heart. Years of living in open sin and rebellion against God had left its mark deep in my soul.

The Holy Spirit, however, was not intimidated one bit. He set about to cleanse, heal, restore, rebuild, reconnect and reeducate me. Oh my! What a time we had. Bit by bit, layer by layer He uncovered and healed. Some were so small the fresh pink skin completely removed any remembrance of the wound. Others He chose to heal with a scar. Oh, He could have removed all signs of those too, but I'm glad he didn't. Those are the ones I can point to and say, "I once was blind but now I see!"

I don't ponder on my scars anymore, neither do I exploit them, but I do remember. I remember His gracious love for me. I remember His unyielding determination to make me whole. (We are still working on that one.) But the point is, I am not ashamed of my scars; they prove I've been in a battle and they prove He has been victorious on my behalf. He never loses, He never retreats, He never stops moving forward.

Of course there have been many battles and many wounds since 1979. Life is still full of battles. One of my favorite verses is Matt. 11:12

And from the days of John the Baptist until the present time, the kingdom of heaven has endured violent assault, and violent men seize it by force (as a precious prize - a share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense exertion). Amplified Bible

Violence. Its a part of our lives if we are moving forward with God. And violence sometimes brings wounds. But the secret is in the healing. The wounds become scars and we stand as evidence of His amazing grace and love. God is good and He loves us. He sees our battles, He joins with us in them and even though we are sometimes wounded deep in our soul, it is never too much for Him.

Joyce Meyer often says, "you can be pitiful or powerful, but not both." It's true. We either choose to hold on to our wounds and be pitiful or we forgive, repent, stand up and allow the Lord to heal us and move on.

There is power in a battle tested soldier that stands up once again, squares his shoulders and with a twinkle in his eyes, a joy in his spirit and a spring in his step, raises his shield of faith with a scarred hand  and moves forward with the ranks of the redeemed.

Bittersweet

My husband and I were travelling last week when we received news of a tragic accident. One of our extended family members was taken home at a very early age.  The shock of it was painful and mind boggling. There did not seem to be a way to rationalize it or understand it. We immediately went to the Lord in prayer and the Holy Spirit spoke to our hearts the words: "he is safe."

The comfort came and went during the next few days as we joined with other family and friends to surround the immediate family in His love and faith. It was amazing to see the strength that was imparted to all of them, the way they were able to not only function but actually comfort others. God's grace always amazes me. The  Comforter is just that: The Comforter and no one else can take His place.

And so, on a beautiful fall afternoon with a clear sky and crisp cool air, we stood around a fresh grave and said goodbye - for now. As the grave site ceremony finished, Mom very nervously began to sing,

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name.
Master, Savior, Jesus, let all heaven and earth proclaim.
Kings and kingdoms may all pass away,
But there's something about that name."

Bittersweet. We know our loved one is safe with Jesus and that is so sweet, but the bitter taste left in our hearts from the loss is something only the Lord can heal. But listening to Mom's shaking voice full of emotion and pain as she sang to Jesus tells me that healing has already begun.

It's Who I Am

I originally started this blog because I wanted a place to vent all the fun and frustrations associated with making what I call movies. It is actually taking my photographs, adding music, transitions, journaling and burning it on a DVD. Movie making is my favorite hobby these days; I can spend hours working on the smallest details of each slide.

My family reunion and finding my mom's hand written book made me see the importance of leaving a record of my time here on this earth.  I treasure Mom's book and can only hope my family members will find my story half as interesting.

But then  I noticed that no matter what I tried to write, it ended up in some way involving my walk with God. After struggling with this a bit, I have surrendered. Walking with God isn't only what I do, it is who I am. It is impossible to separate what I do from who I am - a child of God.

As a result, I have a new challenge. I want to write about daily life, relationships, good times, not so good times in order to show God's presence in our everyday life. Emmanuel, God with us. And He is with us in every aspect of our lives, through every valley and up every mountain of course, but also in the daily activities that take up the majority of our time. He is interested in everything we put our hands to; even making movies, even leaving our story for others who come along behind us.

He will never leave us nor forsake us and He is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother.

The Kitchen Church

This weekend our son-in-law and five of our grandsons came for a visit. If you read my previous blog, you understand how excited I was to have them here. And of course their joined-at-the-hip buddies they had not seen since moving away, came for a sleepover as well. It was wonderful to have the house full again; pizza and cokes flowing, video games running, laughter and tussling (that's an old fashioned word for mixing it up in fun), all of it was fun, tiring, and wonderful.

Sunday morning came all too soon. The long drive home was imminent. It was however, Sunday morning, and Sunday morning is church time. So, we had Kitchen Church. We had a message from God's word,  Dad's exhortation to the boys about keeping the godly heritage alive. Then came granddad's view on the subject. Finally there was prayer all around.

Simple. Easy. Worship without music. Prayer without an altar - oh, wait, there was the kitchen counter - that works.

I do love gathering together with God's people, standing in the congregation and lifting up hands to honor and praise Him. I enjoy relating to God's people and praying together over our needs and sharing our testimonies. But, sometimes it isn't practical. Sometimes we make an altar out of a kitchen counter, a stool becomes a pulpit, and our congregation plays with a light saber while service is going on. But the constant is Jesus, and He doesn't mind the kitchen stool nor the counter... the light saber - not too sure 'bout that - but  the point is, Christ in us, the hope of glory.

Where we are, He is. When we gather together He is there. When we lift His name in worship, He listens. Emmanuel, God with us. Wherever we are; whomever we are with; no matter the surroundings:  we worship, we learn, we connect. Ever learning, ever growing, ever loving, ever becoming more like Jesus, who taught wherever he walked. I think He liked our Kitchen Church almost as much as our Porch Church! Blessings on you this day.

New Seasons - New Joys!

It appears that fall has finally decided to honor us. This is my very favorite of all seasons - the colors, the temps, the sports - I love everything about fall. This year I am following a football team, a softball team and two soccer teams. Whew - being a grandma with a camera is not for the faint of heart.

Since my blog is entitled Seasons and Memories, it seems appropriate to post something about the season change. That was the first paragraph. Now for the real season change: my life! Goodness, I sailed through the first empty nest syndrome with flying colors. By the time the last child had moved out, the first ones had returned with grandkids in tow. Grandkids ease the pain - no matter what it is - they just have that ability to make me laugh and enjoy life. This time however, the empty nest involves most of my grandchildren. We have gone from 15 who push and shove for their turn at weekend sleepovers to two who come occasionally.

Now, don't get me wrong; our older grands still love us and we have a great time when they come. We still talk and interact and play games and hug and eat and laugh - it's just that it doesn't happen as often as it did before. In addition, two of our children have moved out of state and are happily making a life several hundred miles away from us. Although I am thrilled for both of them, it still leaves two more empty places here in GA.

We will see them every few months but it isn't the same as popping in mid-morning for a cup of coffee, coming home from church and enjoying Sunday lunch together, or meeting at Barnes & Noble for a latte. Not surprisingly, the Lord has been unusually close to my heart during this transition. I am more aware than ever that He will never leave me nor forsake me; that He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Families are wonderful and I love mine with a deep, unconditional love; but this love of God - well, it's different. I fully understand and acknowledge that I could never love even my own little darlings unless He put that love in my heart. So, I guess today's post is actually a thank you to Jesus for His wonderful love. Thank you for the love you placed in my heart for you and for others and thank you for the love you show to me every moment of my life.

Walking in the Light does expose much that  I would just as soon not see, but it is well worth it to experience this amazing love that lets me be me; lets me love with abandonment; holds me when I hurt and confronts me when I hurt others. Thank you Jesus. I love you! :-)

Families change, children and grandchildren grow up and make their own lives. It is a good thing. But this grandma is growing and changing too. I'm ready for this next season and whatever the Lord brings to me. Yes, I sleep a little later in the mornings and stay up later at night, yes, I enjoy that second and third cup of coffee on the porch,  but that's OK. My life is exactly where it should be and I am right smack where God placed me...for now. Tomorrow? Who knows? Maybe I'll take on something new and exciting. I can still do that. But for today I think I'll just relax here on the porch with my grandson who surprised me with a visit. We'll discuss the state of the world ... through his eyes. I just may learn something.  Love it!!

No Greater Love

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. 

Christ himself laid down his life for you and for me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God.

In an acceptable time I have heard you. And in the day of salvation I have helped you.

Let Us Dance in the Sun...

Its been a lovely week for the Capt and me. My Indian Princess friend, Missus (she's southern Indian) Sajatey and her Sweetie came to visit. Notwithstanding the fact that I gained my customary five pounds while she was here, we had a great time playing on our laptops, swapping ideas and inspiring each other until the wee hours of the morning. All those late hours would be ever so much better if I could sleep til at least noon the next day, but alas, the guys "needed" us. :-) Which was also nice.....kinda.


My gift from Miz Sajatey was this beautiful picture you see in my post. It's a photo she took - a nice, simple photo of yellow flowers. However, she made it special with her personal touch. First, she created a background, then added text, framed it, presented it to me, and it became a treasure. A reminder of a friendship that I treasure. The inscription reads:

 

"Let us dance in the sun wearing wild flowers in our hair."  

What an uplifting thought! Of course when I read it to my daughter she immediately said, "Great idea. Do it and I'll come video you."  Uhhhh......no. But then, come to think of it, that would probably make a hit on You Tube. Two grandmas with wildflowers woven in their hair spinning and twirling in the sunshine in a meadow somewhere. I can see it now, things would be spinning and twirling that were never meant to spin and twirl. 

I do believe though, that every female who watched it, grandma or not, would want to dance with that abandonment. And why not? Being free to experience life is one of the great benefits of serving God. He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. There are many opportunities in life to dwell on the on the sad things, but God's word encourages us to think on the lovely, the pure. He wants us to find the positive; to enjoy our time on this earth. To be serious does not always mean to be sad.


Thank you Miz Sajatey for once again reminding me that life is a great adventure; that it's never too late to dance; that it doesn't matter what spins and twirls. What matters is that we "do," that we live and that we take advantage of every opportunity to revel --"to take great pleasure in" God's amazing love and soak up His wonderful joy.


So, let us dance! It doesn't matter if you are a young girl, a mommie or a grandma, join me and let's dance and twirl and spin.  And oh, don't forget the wildflowers. See you in the meadow!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Phil 4:8

I Yam What I Yam

Popeye used to say, "I yam what I yam."  If you don't remember Popeye, I'm sorry; he and Olive Oil were good folks. The fact that I readily recall them is evidence of my intent here. My last post was somewhat of an apology for where I am in life. Since then, I've done a little soul searching, and guess what? I've decided I actually like who I am and where I am in life. I admit to being somewhat different from most bloggers which of course makes my blog somewhat different.

So, I've decided to just be me. My view of life is, well, my view. My memories are colored with the gentleness that comes from years of telling them over and over.  My thoughts are random and my words reflect my age, but there it is, for all to see.

 I'm a grandma with fifteen lovely grandchildren. And yes, they sometimes tell me I have "issues." Yes I do, honey, yes I do! But that is alright with me, its taken years to develop those issues.  Having grandchildren is one of life's greatest blessings and knowing we love each other unconditionally gives us a wonderful freedom to be ourselves and to enjoy the love that spans the generation gap. Most folks think we older ladies are a little soft - hummm, perhaps we are. They make movies about us you know. Ever see "Arsenic and Old Lace?"  Great flick - you should check it out.

Seriously, life and our individual place in life, is something to be celebrated. The directions we take, both the good and the not so good, all work together to draw us closer to Him and His purpose for our lives. You are a precious individual just as I am. I learn from you and you from me. It's a beautiful thing called relationship.

Thank you Jesus, we are not all the same. How boring would that be?

But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain;

I Corinthians 15:10 (a)

Time To Reflect?

Most of the blogs I follow are uplifting and funny with interesting little tidbits from someones day. I love reading them; it makes me feel connected somehow. I would like to write funny, uplifting blogs about my day too. But, apparently, my life isn't funny, uplifting and interesting.  It seems all my posts turn out serious and nostalgic.

I try to be light in my postings, but perhaps I've become a little more serious in my present "season." And a little more nostalgic. So - I am not sure what to tell you except that maybe, just maybe, there's a place in this fast paced, funny world for some old time serenity, and peace. Is it possibly good to slow down a bit and take stock of our lives and remember where we came from?

 SEE??? There I go getting serious again. OMG!

I promise you; I am not becoming that old lady who sits around thinking on yesterday - really I'm not. I am however, thankful for every season of my life and the place it's brought me to this day. I enjoy reading and listening to the day-to-day lives of younger women. It makes me reflect on my time as a young mother and the fact that not much has changed over the years. Babies still get sick; potty training is still a challenge; no one likes to spank their child; first day of school is traumatic; first day of college is worse. And on and on.

But here we all are together anyway:  loving our families, growing and learning in every season of our lives. We connect, we engage, we love, we fight, we forgive, and we keep moving forward.

 SOoooo, since this is all true: go take a picture! You'll love yourself next year!

I See You?

The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes.

The first time I saw my future husband's face I only noticed that it was handsome, but the first time I saw my husband's face I fell hopelessly in love. I have looked into the faces of many babies, but the first time I saw the faces of my babies they captured my heart completely.

Faces are everywhere: on street corners, in grocery stores, work places, at football games and shopping malls. Our face is our portrait to the world around us. Its been said the eyes are the windows of the soul, they uncover our emotions, whether it be love and acceptance or anger and frustration. Lying eyes normally dart and bounce around trying to avoid having someone see the truth inside.

 Photographers are careful in most portraits to emphasize the eyes of their subject in order to reflect their personality. Even in nature  photography, the eyes are ever so important. Our eyes, however, are not only windows for others to see into our heart, but they are also windows we use to peer out at the world around us. I'm wondering today how well I use these little eyes of mine to really see the faces around me.

The first time ever I saw your face. Did I see your face? Really see your face? Or did I rush past with my own thoughts and plans and never see the real you looking back at me? Did I miss a silent call for understanding, for compassion? Did I fail to see the strain exposed in your eyes?

Or, perhaps the joy that was bubbling out of you? I could have wrapped myself in that for just a moment and my day would have been lifted ...  had I only stopped to really see your face.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. Matt. 6:22

Seasons And Memories: Movin' Up!

Seasons And Memories: Movin' Up!

Movin' Up!

Seasons and levels often go together in our lives. As we progress through each season we learn and mature and move upward toward our goals. For me, the season of my life has much to do with what level I operate on. In the springtime I tend to peace out and enjoy sitting and watching the season unfold. In the fall, however, the cooler weather energizes me.

No matter how they affect us, the seasons of our lives mark our time here on earth. Some for good, others we would just as soon forget. But getting back to the idea of levels, I'm thinking today about what helps me to move from one level to another, whether it be creatively,  financially, spiritually, or in any other area of my life.

For me, I think it comes down to how badly I want it. For years I've dreamed of becoming a professional photographer. I have not, however, taken classes to improve my abilities. Nope - but I've dreamed. I've thought about what kind of photographer I would be and of course how much money I would make. Millions for sure! But the point is, I apparently do not want it badly enough to commit myself to improving my skills.

So, I remain on pretty much the same level I've been on for years. To be proficient in any area normally requires "want-to";  it takes commitment, time and effort. The talents God placed inside me are His gifts to me. What I do with them and how I develop them are my responsibility. Of course He empowers, He encourages, He sends others along to help, but still, I must take the initiative and get moving. As a young friend of mine once said, "'sponsibility is hard." For sure, for sure, but worth the effort.

So, today, I'm taking a close look at goals not yet reached, dreams not realized, and what my level of desire is at this season in my life. Am I moving up? Or simply treading water?

Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.

Caw Caw.. Caw Caw...

Its that season of the year when the Capt. and I spend a lot of time in our favorite spot: the screen porch. It's up high so we get a view of the ground and also the tree tops. Its a nice perspective. Another thing we get up close is the sound of the forest. Relaxing with a good cup of coffee is a great way to observe the activity in that wooded world.

My imagination gets crazy out there. I can sense the tiny world of the creatures who call our backyard forest their home and I know there are conversations going on all around me. At times I can decipher what's going on between the crows and the redbirds; the blue jays and the squirrels, but this morning there was a different sound. We kept listening and trying to determine what animal makes that sound. Turkey? No. Bird? No. Humm... it was a very faint but insistent sound.

As I walked over to the edge and leaned down to check out the ground below us, I bumped into the sound: a toy barn with animals and a very low battery. The little toy was relentlessly oinking away with what little power he had left. I turned him off and we had a good laugh.

But then I started thinking about all the voices in my world. I know some chirpers who chant and tweet and make me smile; some singers who whistle a pretty tune and brighten my days. I also know a few crows whose endless "caw caw" attitudes make me a little nuts. And then there are the doves in my life who remind me of my Father's love for me. There are the wild turkeys who are just .... turkeys. :-)  And, of course, that persistent oinking from one who refuses to leave me be.

But the most important voice is the still small voice of Jesus. It is His strong, loving voice that keeps me settled. It is never a distraction, never a disappointment, never inappropriate, and always wonderful. His voice quietly thunders through my heart, overshadowing all the others. My day is brighter, my heart is lighter and I know that I am loved.

And oh, he turns off that continual "oinking" sound.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Mama Bear

We moms cannot help but see our children and grandchildren through the eye of Mamma's Heart.  A.K.A: The Mama Bear within.

Admit it - if your child (or grandchild)  has ever played any kind of organized sport you have encountered The Bear  at some point. It lives within us like a plague just waiting to surface. One would think that by now I would have slaughtered that Little League Monster Mom that lies deep within, but she still appears unannounced at the most inopportune times.

It doesn't matter the sport, the child or grandchild, it's the competition that brings it out. And the fact that sometimes not everyone notices that my family member is the best on the field. Whatever field that is.

But, I must say, I have reached the point that I can smile and nod, cheer and clap and keep my opinions to myself...most of the time. The season is here - take the field - bring it on - mamma's ready....

                                              and so is the Bear.

Note to Self:  Check out earlier blog about kind words...must read that again.  :-)

God Is Good

Its a beautiful porch morning down here. The temp is unusually mild for this time of year; the breeze soft and relaxing. Capt. courageous and I are being entertained by the squirrels chasing each other up and down the trees. Its funny how much noise they make for their size. All this peace has resulted in a second pot of coffee and an extended calm before the day descends upon us.

This life style was thrust upon us unexpectedly ten years ago when the explosion brought our employment days to an end. The first few years we were reeling from the impact both physically and emotionally. Then just as we were settling down the automobile accident happened and our lives were upended once again.

Once we recovered from that, we went through a time of frustration with not being productive. Actually, the Capt. had more trouble with that one than I did. But now, we have surrendered and settled into a peace, redeeming the time with our family, enjoying our grandchildren and loving our lives.

Seasons change and it usually takes time to be comfortable again, but God is good and our paths are directed by Him.

The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his way.  Psm. 37:7

No Tootsie Pop?

My friend, Ms. Sajatey, does not want to be compared to a tootsie pop. She prefers Twix... humm..this isn't really working for me. A Twix is all milk chocolate on the outside where the Tootsie Pop is shiny and smooth outside with a surprise softness inside.

Now that's how I see Ms. Sajatey... smoooooth....

Beside how can you call someone Twix?

You Amaze Me!!

I have a friend named Sajatey who is a true American Indian princess; no lie. Her dad was a chief  (an amazing man I might add) so that makes her a princess. And  although she doesn't walk around in moccasins and sport feathers in her hair, carrying a sign that says, "We were here first," she does have that special, stoic Indian nature.

I think of her a little like a tootsie pop; all smooth and shiny on the outside but soft and chewy on the inside. Ha  - maybe I'll nickname her Tootsie.  She is the kind of lady who walks into a room, smiles sweetly and finds a peaceful place to sit and observe before jumping into a conversation. I, on the other hand, usually barge in talking and laughing, hugging, patting people and generally causing a disruption, often to my own dismay. Anyway, she is an amazing lady with talents and giftings that constantly blow me away. I learn much from her in many ways. She has been my mentor in movie making, scrapbooking, writing, you name it, she can do it.

Now, get this, in an email yesterday she said to me, "You amaze me!"  OMG.. I immediately wrote her back to ask it she meant that in a good way or in that, "Oh, no, you didn't really do that in public," way. But she assured me she meant it in a good way.

Sooooo...I'm going to just bask in that for a while. I am not sure I've ever amazed anyone before in a good way. Really. What is also amazing  is how much that little message meant to me.

                 Amazing...hummm.. me??

                                                     ....maybe I should get  a cape.

                                           Yeah... a red one...

                                     and just a very small tiara.                 

Amazing Me. . . woah!!

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.  Pr. 25:11

Is That A Nikon You're Using?

Cameras attract people. Whether its in front of it or working behind the lens, people notice cameras. This weekend was no exception as I took photos of my granddaughter's softball game.

Normally because the fence is too high to get a good shot, I, along with the other photographers, must place my lens right at the fence and shoot through that tiny opening. This time the gate was missing! Yea!!! I was able to step right up and get great shots. After a couple of innings a mom from the other team joined me and we shared the spot.

Funny thing happens when two women meet up with a camera. We talk. We connect. At one point she mentioned doing a slide show for the team and of course I asked about what music she uses. I got the standard, "Oh, no, that's too difficult for me."

By the time we parted she had the name of my favorite program, ProShow Producer, by Photodex, and was committed to making videos with transitions and music.

The two of us had little in common. First of all, she uses a Canon and I'm a die-hard Nikon, she was a mom and I'm a grandma. She was cute and slim and I was.... well, I was me. lol 

The point is, life is filled with opportunities to connect with new people. A total stranger can brighten my day and hopefully me theirs. I will probably never see this young lady again but I enjoyed a morning of sharing tips and ideas and watching our girls battle each other on the ball field.

We both walked away a little more comfortable with our photography, having encouraged each other to step up to the plate and do what we love - record the memories of our lives for others to enjoy. And yes, I'll enjoy mine just a little better since we walked away with a big win!  :-)

Ahhh...Go Fly A Kite

I love the uninhibited laughter of a small child. Sweet, unaffected and completely oblivious to anything around them;  their eyes sparkle, the dimples deepen and out comes this captivating sound of pure joy. My personal favorite is the belly laugh. That one makes me feel better no matter what is going on at the time.

Yesterday at lunch there was a young girl with her grandparents and her laughter entertained not only them but all of us within earshot. I'm certain she had no idea the bright spot she was making in our lives. For some reason it reminded of a day many years ago. An ordinary day in the life of a young mom, but that day took an unexpected turn.

My son was about three years old at the time and his dad had bought him a new kite. It could have been his first, I'm not sure. But that morning after breakfast he asked if we could fly his new kite. Well, sure, why not. So, at 9:00 on a summer morning he and I took to the backyard. Of course everyone knows that moms are not the expert kite flyers, but I was giving it my best shot.

Up and down the yard we ran with that stubborn kite that would not get over 10 feet in the air. We ran though - over and over again. My housecoat flapping in the breeze, hair flying everywhere at once. Him with nothing on but his PJ bottoms and both of us barefoot. Sometimes we sat on the back steps with a quick drink to cool off and discuss why this wasn't working for us. He would giggle and we would try again.

Why do I remember that day so clearly? It was the laughter. We laughed and laughed as we ran barefoot together through the grass.

The kite was insignificant; its the laughter I remember. Well, and the fact that we never got that stupid kite up in the air. I do remember coming in and being shocked that it was noon. The breakfast dishes were still sitting on the table; the laundry was piled in front of the washer; we were still in our pj's; our feet were dirty.... and we laughed. And that is what I remember of that day.

It's been a long time since I ran laughing and barefoot in the grass with my housecoat flapping in the breeze. But the laughter; that continues and it's part of what makes life good. Seasons change, people grow up, but the memories remain and the laughter is good for our soul.

A merry heart does good like a medicine.

A Love Story - In Case I Never Told You

The first time I saw him, I was a bit put off by his cockiness.

The next few times I came across him, I had the same reaction; however I could not help but notice his obvious enjoyment in working with the boys. His coaching skills and his camaraderie with the young men was commendable. Still, he was a bit cocky.

Then one evening several years later I was sitting in the stands talking with a girlfriend when he came along to talk to "her." Hummm..ok, fine. I was watching the game anyway. At one point he made a comment that made me look around her to reply. And, in that moment, in the cold night air of an October evening, I saw his sparkling blue eyes, curly hair falling ever so easily on his forehead and WHAM! It was all over.

A few nights later we had our first date at the Steak & Ale Steak House. We danced in front of the fireplace and the fact that no one else in the restaurant was dancing made it even more romantic.

That was twenty-seven years ago and although the black curls have gone away, his sparkling blue eyes, strong arms and gentle manner still make me feel warm and loved. I still catch my breath at times when he first comes into the room. And yes, the cockiness has subsided .... somewhat.

I thank my Heavenly Father for a second chance at love and at life. He must really love me!

Is It Time?

Are your old photographs, videos, letters, parts of your family history stored in closets; somewhere on a top shelf where no one ever looks? For years I talked about doing something with my photos but it was such an overwhelming job I never got around to it. Then, the family reunion came up and I knew it was a perfect opportunity, so I promised to make a movie before I had time to back out. Once I was committed the adventure began.

The little video posted here isn't the one I made for the family - oh no, that one was 45 minutes long! HOURS of fun working on that baby. This one is a short movie that will  hopefully encourage you to dig out your own photos and put them on the big screen for any and all to appreciate. Be prepared to laugh, cry, tweak and retweak before you have it ready to present to your family; the journey is definitely fulfilling and well worth the effort.

And hey, if you aren't interested in the old photos down in the basement, no problem, using your new digital files is even easier. Drag and drop; add a few transitions; insert your favorite music and it's ready to burn. Children especially love watching themselves on T.V. - well, actually, don't we all? And vacation photos are no longer boring when combined with music, a few texts, and some snappy transitions. When completed its easy to pop a DVD in the player and enjoy your time away all over again. Mail them to family and friends or simply upload the video to You Tube.

OK -so I realize this sounds like an ad for the movie programs, forgive me. It doesn't matter which program you use. What matters is that you record your seasons and memories. Leave an imprint from your time here on this earth. Go ahead, express yourself, no one is watching...or are they?