Graduations Happen

Seasons and memories; that is what my blog is all about. Sometimes, however, I find myself dwelling more on the memories than the seasons. At this point in my life I have seen the beginning and the ending of more seasons that I care to admit. Most blend into one another without a lot of fan fare, but there are a few that stand out in my mind.

My first big season change came when I graduated high school. The deal among us was that no one would cry. We would be cool about it, no emotion, just good times. Then the word spread up and down the line, I can still hear the whispers: "Marie is crying." Yep - there I stood in the middle, well actually almost to the end, of the line and I was crying. Not just a few tears, nope, crying! All out crying.

Was I embarrassed? I don't think I was. I remember the whispers, I remember walking and looking through my tears, I remember being surrounded by friends I had seen almost daily for twelve years, but I do not remember being embarrassed. It's who I am. Emotional, sentimental, expressive. My guts have a way of spilling out for all to see. And I'm certain none of my friends were in the least surprised. They knew me. We had grown up together. And now it was ending. Of course I cried.

Since then I have come to the beginning and the ending of many seasons. I married; I birthed three wonderful children; I divorced; I raised children as a single mom; I married Mr Wonderful;  I went through the struggles of  combining two families and emerged with more people to love and be loved by; my children grew up and moved away; I became a grandma; and now many of my grandchildren have grown up. Life has been emotional, sentimental and expressive. I have cried over some endings and shouted over others. I have laughed and been cool and I have dissolved into tears.

But a few things have remained constant over the years: those who love me have loved me and those who are my friends have understood and supported me. My family has remained intact and God's love has kept us in the most intense and in the calmest situations. Even in the early years before I knew Him, He kept me. Even then He was with me; though I did not realize it.

So, it's 2011 and a new year is beginning. I believe a new season is also beginning in my life. I sense the winds of change softly beckoning me. Where? I'm not sure yet, but one thing I know: my God will keep me and my family and friends will love and support me.

 And so, I cherish the memories of my life; of having all my children under our roof. I remember the family times when we were all together, but now I am thrilled when our family includes daughter-in-laws and son-in-law and grandchildren. Its a different season but I would not go backwards for anything.

It is a wonderful thing to me that God ordains the seasons of our lives perfectly to fit our needs and abilities at the moment. Wouldn't it be crazy if I had to go back to high school or to being a new mom? OMG! Lord help me!

And so, to those who are such an important part of my life, I salute you and thank you. Loving me is not always an easy thing, but you guys are determined.  God bless you!

If God be for us, who can be against us?

Connecting Hearts

Maybe its because Christmas is so close or maybe its because I'm a grandma and have too much time to think. Either way, I'm reminded today of my days as a new mom. If you have children, I'm sure you can relate to those moments when life for your child was just beginning and your life was forever changed.

Remember when they were so tiny and you would swaddle them tight in their blankets and lay them on your chest? It was all you and them; no one else could feel what you were feeling. Your baby was warm and safe, content just to be near you.  Peace would sweep over you as you lay quietly with your baby on your chest.  I can still remember the feeling.

The intimacy that began then was  deep and the bond so profound words cannot express it. Even if there was a room full of people all excited about the new baby, I was so peaceful - so content - nothing could shatter my peace. It was the kind that came from deep inside my soul where words do not exist. Those were my favorite times. The connection between mom and baby in those early moments stays with us for a lifetime.

Several years later my life had turned upside down. It was during that time, in the midst of my pain and frustration - my desperation - that the Christ child was birthed within my spirit.  This was a different kind of new life; but a birth, a new life, all the same.

As I held the Christ child close to my chest the intimacy went beyond words, the bond between us was unbelievable yet very real. Even in a room full of people nothing could shatter my peace. I had the Christ child within and He was all mine.

The flip side was, as I held the Christ child the Father held me, I was the baby laying on His chest.  Now I was all safe and warm and content just to be near Him.

The Christ child would grow within me and our relationship would change over the years but I will never forget those early months when He was so new within me, when my only desire was to hold Him, please Him, talk with Him;  try to understand His needs and my role in Him.

Over the years, I have at times found myself drifting away from that intimacy; from searching His face just to see the smile there. Its easy to talk to Him all day without ever really listening to his heart, without realizing the awesome privilege of being in His presence. Forgive me Lord and draw me daily to that place of quiet in you. I want to see the twinkle in your eyes and hear the softness in your voice, to hold you close as the Father holds me. I never want to forget the amazement I felt that first time I looked into your face.

This Christmas I pray for all of us that same joy and peace that comes from holding the Christ child near. His presence brings the Merriest of Christmas no matter the circumstances.

 

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

Luke 2: 11&12

The Three of Me Agree

Ten days til Christmas! Every year I say the same thing - how did it get here so quickly? Then the rest of the year I wonder why it takes so long to get here. The confusion comes from the child inside. You know, the one who cannot wait for Christmas morning. On the other hand, the "adult me" would like to have a bit more time to prepare. Of course the "grandma me" just loves it anytime and doesn't really worry about whether things are perfect or not. It'll be alright is her mantra.

Somehow all three of these ladies come together into one during this season and I enjoy every aspect of the  holidays. Snuggling in front of the fire with my Sweetie, shopping frantically for the perfect gift, eating tons of chocolate,  relaxing at Barnes and Noble with a peppermint mocha latte, and preparing for Christmas dinner with all the family. Family - that's it, isn't it? When family is together it doesn't matter the season, the occasion, the food (well, the food is always important) but family being together makes every part of me smile.

This year we probably won't be able to have everyone here at the same time. Those days are fewer and further between as the family grows and new spouses join us. At least we get to enjoy each one at some point. Today I am mindful of the reason our family is still intact. His name is Jesus and without Him none of us would be who we are or where we are. It's all about Him and that's one thing all three of "me" agree on.

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel ..which means "God with us."  Matt 1:22 & 23

Upside Down Christmas

The whistling of the wind outside, the turning of pages inside...that's about all you hear this morning as he and I sit in our PJ's in front of the fire, catching up on our reading. It was a wonderfully hectic weekend with football, grandkids, a lovely dinner with friends and a little snow thrown in just to make it feel like Christmas. Life is good and I am happy and blessed. Cliche, I know, but still true.

We had two of our grandsons overnight on Saturday and for hours on end we listened to every battery operated singing snowman, Santa, Scooby Doo, Grandma/Grandaddy toy in the house. I tried time out, spanking, finger pointing (which was met with great fits of giggles) .. all to no avail. Oh, not to the grandsons, but to the toys themselves which magically started singing even though no one touched them. Hummm...the magic of Christmas???

Then last evening we were invited to dine with a young lady who has been like a granddaughter to us for many years. We were thrilled to see her beautiful home all decorated for Christmas and a scrumptious dinner served on lovely china. Seasons do change and people grow and it is most rewarding when you see it happening to someone you have long loved.

So, this morning we are regrouping, like retired people do. I'm not at all embarrassed that I didn't dress before noon, that I had delicious sticky buns for breakfast or that my day's goal is to scan pictures for a movie. We have reached that stage when the merry-go-around of Christmas shopping etc has given way to enjoying the season and having time to reflect on how content and loved we are.

If you don't mind, I'm going to sit here in the quiet for just a bit longer and enjoy the comfort of sharing His presence with someone I love. Its true: to everything there is a season.

Love Never Fails

O, Love that will not let me go

I rest my weary soul in Thee

I give thee back the love I owe

That in thine oceans' depth its flow

Might richer, fuller be.

Perhaps you remember that old hymn; it always warms my heart with its truth. It seems the older I get and the longer I walk this Christian walk, the more I am aware of His unconditional, overwhelming, all-encompassing love. For God so loved He gave... Love never fails... God is love.

This walk of faith is of coursed based in love - not our love, but His. It comforts me beyond measure to understand that my love is not hanging out there on its own, but is under girded and enriched by His love. Well, thank goodness for that!!

I learned through tears and emotional sweat a few years back that my love is at best selfish and at its worst, non-existent. That was a  hard lesson for me since I had always assumed I was a loving person. And I am - but only because He loves through me. Only because He loves me so very much. So, today I guess that is all I want to say: God loves; God cares; God covers and surrounds us with His beautiful presence.

Thanksgiving is over and I did not take time to post this weekend so this is a late Thanksgiving post. I am thankful for many things including family, friends and health; but His love,  His love toward me, for that I am most thankful of all. Everything else rests on that.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday with family, friends and food, but most of all, I hope you know His love. It is a wonderful realization with which to begin the Christmas season.  After all, if He had not loved, He would not have given. And if He had not given, we would have nothing to celebrate.

For God so loved the world, He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  John 3:16

He's Still Here...

Good morning, Saturday! Its good to see you come around again. I'm not sure why that is, since we are now retired and every day is basically Saturday, but I guess old habits die hard. I remember during my working days that Saturday was the day I could have that second cup of coffee, reconnect with my children and put my house back in order. Those days were busy, interesting, difficult and  fun. All in all it was a great season.

But my life today is a great season also. Now I can enjoy that second and third cup of coffee every day. My house only needs to be put back in order after visits from our grandchildren; which lately have been all too few. But even grandchildren grow up. Someone told me that its ok that we have much less to do, since it takes much longer to do it.

Even in our season changes, our lives remain constant in the important areas. In the natural we grow weaker but His strength is made perfect in weakness. Our minds sometimes get a little forgetful, but we have the mind of Christ. In short, He has our back, even - or especially - as we grow older. It is so true that He will never leave us or forsake us. There's a song that says He didn't bring us this far to leave us. I like that.

The most important attribute of our lives though seems to strengthen and enlarge as old age comes sniffing around, looking for a place to creep in unawares. It is a thing called Love. God is Love. I, personally, have found that many of my black and white areas have become a little more grey these days. Not that I'm compromising, but  I can sense the Lord stretching me to see the big picture. He sees the totality of our lives, not just our current season.

I first learned this lesson with my own Mother. I had prayed for her for years, wanting to see her shouting and dancing across the altar, speaking in tongues and prophesying. However, when the time came for her to go home, I was amazed at the depth of her relationship with Jesus. No, that isn't quite right. What amazed me was HIS relationship with HER.

I heard her pray aloud for the first time in my life only a few days before she crossed over. But that last week of her life taught me more about the love and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father than everything I had heard since becoming a Christian.

My mom accepted Christ into her heart as a teenager and was sold out. However, when she married my dad, things changed. Growing up, my church attendance was normally on holidays and an occasional stretch of a few weeks during a revival, but Mom was a wonderful, loving mother who cared for her family through many hard years. She taught me the principles of God through her life and through her song.

Of course I would have loved growing up active in church and learning the scriptures. My life would probably have been easier had I come to the Lord earlier. I'm sorry for that. But my point is, she did not walk closely, but He never left.  He remained faithful to the end and in the end He came for her. There was no doubt about that.

A few days before she left us, she made the statement: "Jesus Christ has been a member of our family all these years and I didn't even know it."

He never leaves us.

All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

John 6:37

Thank You

Security, safety, comfort: all situations we enjoy here in America. Freedom, opportunities, a better quality of life, all come with being an American. Even with the current economic problems, we still enjoy our way of life without too much interference. Our day to day lives are as a rule safe from outside harm.

Today we honor the veterans who fought to make that possible for all of us. It is right for us to do so - it is important that we never take for granted their sacrifices and those of their families. No one likes war, no one wants to leave home and family to defend our country. And yet, men and women are constantly called, drawn or driven to do just that.

Today, I want to take time to say "thank you." Thank you for going. Thank you moms and dads, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandmas and granddaddys for letting go.

God bless you and keep you in His hand and may His mercies surround each of you today - your day.